Get On, Clip In, Fall Off

Mac users on the Tube

I'm writing this on the tube. In car 51656 on the Northern Line, to be precise. What this means is that I'm being one of those posy so-and-sos who sits on the tube (yes, I've got a seat, thanks to some kind soul sat right next to where I was standing who got off at Leicester square JUST FOR ME) fiddling with a PowerBook. This is dangerous, in my experience, because of two terrible dangers.

The first is that I'll get mugged -- maybe not on a crowded train packed to the roof with commuters, but in the wilds of Morden after getting off -- which wouldn't be very nice, but the second is far worse, and here I speak from bitter experience. Someone might *talk to me*.

The sheer terror that grips me when someone looks closely at my laptop is hard to exaggerate. The cold chill that seizes my body when they want to tell me how cool Macs are is even worse. Yes, I know Macs are cool - I own two, aspire to owning more and have another one on my desk at work - but I really don't need confirmation of that from random third parties in South London. Mac zealots are a scary bunch indeed if they'll break the great London taboo about talking to strangers on the tube. It's a tough call to make, but I think mugging might be marginally preferable to being talked at all the way from Kennington to Morden by someone with an unhealthy Mac obsession they can't keep to themself.

Sometimes I'm tempted to spray it black and stick a Dell or Toshiba badge on the lid to camouflage the machine. Nobody ever shows an interest in random corporate laptops, and I've never seen a guy in a suit cornering another guy in a suit to say "Hey! A Portege! Aren't they cool? I just love the creaky black plastic case!".

-- Northern Line southbound, just past Tooting Bec station, 1904 UTC

Posted by mpk at February 2, 2004 9:13 PM | TrackBack