Get On, Clip In, Fall Off

Oops, wrong station.

So I was coming back from an evening in Richmond via Clapham Junction. The train from Clapham to Surbiton was a slammer, which means extra delays on Saturday nights as all the drunken fools can't work out how to close the door properly.

Picture the scene - three extremely drunk lads get on at Wimbledon and proceed to be loud all the way to Surbiton. Now, I didn't catch the whole conversation, but I guess they were on the wrong train as another passenger was telling them very clearly to go to platforms 1 and 2 at Surbiton - which is where the trains back towards London go from.

So we get to Surbiton. As we're rolling into platform 4 one of these lads opens the door and swings it wide open while the train's still doing about 30mph. "Platform 1 or 2", says the helpful passenger again. Before the train's stopped they've jumped off, leaving the door open. I get off and slam the door for them in an irritated way (yes, it is possible to slam a train door irritatedly. Try it for yourself) before looking across to see them piling drunkenly onto the train at platform 3, the other side of the island platform. This platform, of course, is for trains going away from London.

They fumble with the door a bit before finally getting it closed. It's right at the front of the train and the driver's watching them with amusement from the cab window. I look at the driver. I shrug. "Can be a bit technical for some people, closing doors.", says the driver. He pulls out of the station.

I think that even if I'd tried to tell them they were going in the wrong direction it wouldn't have had any effect. Hope they enjoyed Woking, or maybe Basingstoke.

Posted by mpk at May 30, 2004 11:49 PM | TrackBack