Get On, Clip In, Fall Off

Naughty riders who must be punished

So the Tour has finally hit the mountains in a big way. Fabian Cancellara surrendered the yellow jersey with good grace after holding on to it for a few days more than CSC had really planned to defend it for anyway. He surrendered it to a bewildered-looking young thing from T-Mobile, Linus Gerdemann, who was so taken aback at taking yellow in his first Tour that the next day he felt obliged to wear the yellow shorts and the yellow helmet as well just in case he forgot. This is just as well, as T-Mobile aren't going to need them this year after their leader Michael Rogers crashed out of the Tour after hitting a barrier on a descent that day. He kept riding for a while before giving up, and was found to have a dislocated shoulder. Personally, I don't think I could even stand up if I had a dislocated shoulder, let alone ride a bike. The same day, Robbie McEwen failed to pay attention to the time, finished outside the time limit and got eliminated from the Tour along with Danilo Napolitano, something which must be making Tommeke Boonen happier about his prospects for holding on to the green jersey.

Unfortunately for the long-suffering T-Mobile, Mark Cavendish climbed off the same day (not unexpectedly), then Patrik Sinkewitz hit a spectator on the ride down from the finish to the team hotel and had to abandon too. Then today, Marcus Burghardt hit an unattended labrador. He was okay and the dog was okay (there was a team car behind with a rack of spare labradors anyway, and a Mavic bike with a few yellow neutral service poodles) but his front wheel was trashed. He still finished the stage, but you've got to feel sorry for T-Mobile right now. This isn't their Tour...

In yellow now, however, is frighteningly-gaunt Dane Michael "The Chicken" Rasmussen, who stormed over the cols so hard on Sunday that he took not only the fetching polka-dot climbing jersey but the yellow jersey too. It'd be nice if he was able to defend it for a while, but the overall win may be a bit of a problem because he finds it hard to time-trial without falling off. We'll see. One thing for sure, though - the Rasmussen Group Of Pain on Sunday looked like somewhere team directors send riders for punishment if they've been very naughty and refused to apologise. He shelled out the rest of his group and just rode away at a speed alarmingly close to what I can do on the flat, leaving the pursuers weeping in his wake and radioing back to the team car to say they were very very sorry for being bad and can they come back to the peloton now, please?

As for me, the 'cycling bounce' which was hoped for in London in the aftermath of the Tour's visit has so far resulted solely in someone trying to push me off my bike today at the lethally-dangerous Albert Gate exit from Hyde Park, presumably to see if I bounced.