resistance

The Unix Resistance Medley
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(c) mpk 09/1999 - based on "La Résistance Medley", from the soundtrack to
"South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut)

(Scene: A meeting of the Unix Resistance, plotting their last stand 
against the tyrranical power of Windows FUD. If you haven't seen the
South Park movie, think "Les Miserables" - there are overlapping bits
at some point, which I've tried to convey properly. It should also be
noted that at least one verse doesn't rhyme in the original, so 
don't expect it to rhyme here too...)

Solo:

Bob has smiled upon you this day
The fate of the network in your hands
And hassled be, the admins we
Who hack with all our sanity
'Til Unix the righteous stands.

You see the Usenet flames
Screens glowing in the night
You LART in all our names
For what we know is right
And though you lose your mind
And cannot carry on
While you vi(1), La Résistance lives on.

You may get your budgets halved
At a beancounter's word
Your systems may be forced
To bear the NT curse
But though they torture you
They can't make you run it on your desktop
While you vi(1), La Résistance lives on.

(A chorus of unhappy users:)
Blame Microsoft! Blame Microsoft!
Because NT has gone awry, tomorrow night these files'll fry!

(a chorus of doomed Unix machines sing:)
Tomorrow night, our lives will change
Tomorrow night, we go down the drain
An installation, what a blight
Tomorrow night

(Satan:)
In there there is so much room
Where Unix runs and free space blooms
Tomorrow night, that box is doomed
As Win2K is coming soon!

(Terrance and Phillip, two embattled sysadmins:)
Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka!
You're a Windows-loving bastard, uncle fucka!
Looks like the system's out of luck
Tomorrow night, it's pretty fucked!

(A quartet of helpdesk operators sing:)
Why did the lusers start this war? What do they want Win NT for?
Why is its install such a marathon? (I want to be in there!)
                                          When Microsoft is dead and gone
There'll be no Windows broadcast storms!

(Chorus:)
They may cut your pay in half (Tomorrow night)
And hire some NT prig (Our lives will change)
And though you starve, you'll laugh (Tomorrow night)
As NT runs a pig (We'll go down the drain)
So say you told them so (An installation)
When all their files are gone (What a blight)
While you vi(1)
           (I want to be in there!)
La Résistance lives on!