The Original Cthulhu Fhtagn Wristband

Sorry, no longer available - sold out!

[Wristband - click for larger image]


It all started when I was on the Tube, and found myself thinking "There are all these wristbands available to raise awareness of various worthy and important causes. So why has nobody produced wristbands to raise awareness of the inevitable return of the Great Old Ones?" After all, the inevitable demise of humanity amid the brain-melting horror of an awoken Cthulhu is something it's probably worth being aware of.

But people need go unaware no longer! You too can show your "awareness" of the inevitable doom that awaits us all with your very own rubbery "Cthulhu Fhtagn" wristband, available at very reasonable prices (plus a portion of your immortal soul, naturally. Call it a subscription model.)

So are you, like, a Satanist or something?

Good lord, no. For those who need things explaining - this is a humourous reference to the works of H.P. Lovecraft, and specifically to one of the Great Old Ones about whom he wrote. Ask Wikipedia if you want to know more about Cthulhu and the surrounding mythos, not to mention the number of times related things pop up in popular culture. I understand that there are actually people out there who take this stuff seriously, but I'm most certainly not one of them.

Just to be clear, neither I nor these wristbands are actually encouraging any form of devil worship, okay?

What colours are available?


How many times did you check the spelling of "Fhtagn" before finalising the artwork?

About 10,000. At least.

I want one! How do I order?

Sorry, but you can't - much to my surprise I've sold almost all of them. If you've already ordered, don't worry - they'll be on their way soon, but in the meantime, sorry! I'll add the names of a couple of shops which might still have stock here when I get a moment.

Something's gone wrong with my order! Who can I yell at?

If there's anything at all wrong with your order, or it hasn't turned up, then please do mail me and I'll do everything I can to sort things out. There's only one of me, I work full time making my actual living, and I'm doing this more for fun than for any other reason, so being a mere human I may make mistakes sometimes. If I do, then please bear with me and I'll try and get you sorted out just as soon as I can.

Can I pay by cash / cheque / bank transfer?

Sorry, but given the small amounts involved and the hassle involved, I can only take whatever payment means Paypal is able to offer you. This does include credit cards and most national debit cards and so on, so hopefully something there will fit. If not, you could always find a friend who wants one too and save by ordering in quantity!

Other Things And Small Print (Which You Should Read)

UK and EU customers: Note that as I'm not turning over enough in the year (I'm just an impoverished UNIX consultant), I'm not VAT registered, so can't give you a VAT receipt.

Returns: In the event of your wristband aligning the stars, bringing about the return of the Great Old Ones and thus causing the destruction of all humanity by screaming horrors from beyond the stars and/or the depths of the seas, you will receive a full refund. Also, in the event of your wristbands being somehow faulty upon delivery (although given that they're basically posh rubber bands, I'm not sure how that could happen) I'll naturally replace them for free. All bands will be carefully inspected by our packing Shoggoths before despatch.

Shipping: One price includes shipping to anywhere in the world (and beyond, where postal services exist). These things are so light that the difference in the cost of shipping them to different parts of the world is relatively small, and it makes sense to avoid the confusion and extra layers of pricing complexity that differential shipping rates would bring.

Dealers and bulk purchase: If you want to buy these to resell, that's fine with me, but I'm afraid that the terms remain as for everyone else - payment with order. I'm not really set up for any other way of doing things. If you're interested in quantities of 100 or more, mail me to check availability, as in the event of stock shortages small orders will get filled before larger ones.

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